It takes a village...

...to get me through New York. Seriously, my logistical abilities are terrible, and if you don't believe me, just read my latest column. But between the good graces of tsiarxof, elleliss, empress_pixel, sir_graeme, and the_star_fish (ETA: and her friends bethbethbeth and apparently gaeta), I managed to survive long enough to see Ben's musical of Paradise Lost, which was impressive and worth your while to see if you can get there.

I also learned that graduation means failure, ate Belgian fries with War sauce and random salmondill mayo, failed to court a Blastoderm with repeated calls, viewed racist chairs, drank taro coconut tapioca, lamented a plate of dog food as I dreamt of the "swish-swish" sound that shabu shabu makes, got directions from jesus, made the Lord of Coffee serve me tea, outsmarted DaVinci, listened to the tale of the swiss army phone, ate muslim falafel, had meta-boring conversation while championing the bread-hat, was guided through my incompetence, intuited a joke from a deli wall, cheated with soups and sandwiches, and sang the theme song from Super Mario 3 which was certainly not on the N64.

In other news, I have three weeks in which to become a stand-up comic. Anyone wishing to suffer my routine should remind me of it over tea some Thursday.